My children have officially impressed me

I mentioned in previous posts that our kids have started a club with the kids in our small group. There are 16 children in all (yes, that is a busy night for us!) They have given their club a name, “Kidsburgh.” Quite creative, I think! They are really running this like a little country. They recently elected a president and vice president, they have an FBI, and they are planning to have a school taught by one of the seven-year-olds. They are in the process of writing 13 laws for their club, which include the Ten Commandments, the Two Greatest Commandments, and no peeing in the trees (Fred’s contribution).

So earlier today, I went to my computer to pull up a document that I’ve been working on. I clicked on “Recent Documents” to find it, and to my surprise, found a document entitled “Kidsburgh Proclamation.” Of course, I opened it. I was immediately taken by the beautiful deep red Edwardian Script. But what really impressed me was the content. Here is what it says:

The Kidsburgh Proclamation

In this fine hill nation of Kidsburgh, let there always be peace among our brothers and sisters. In this nation God is our real King, though man be our president. Let not our laws be against that of the Bible, but in agreement with it. From east to west all is a proclamation of God’s glory, from an oak to an ant is a proclamation of His handiwork. All are created equal, whether it be man, woman or child; so shall be our law.

I’ve read it five times now, and I’m still in awe that these words could come from my children. Upon questioning them, I learned that Polly was the author. I asked her if she read that somewhere else, and she said that she did not; she made it up herself. To quote her, “I just wrote out what I wanted it to say, then translated it to Old English. Then I chose the fancy script to make it look like ink.”

Wow. I could not have written that at eleven. In fact, I don’t think I could write like that at thirty-six.

One of the wonderful things about children is their incredibly creative nature. There is always a show, a story, a play, a Knex creation, a drawing, a song… currently even a pioneer-style museum in our backyard (a story for another day). There is never a dull moment with them. Thank God for each of them. Go and give yours a big hug today!

Princess takes her work seriously

Yesterday I told you all about our new chore system. One of Princess’ responsibilities is to refill the napkins after breakfast.

Let’s just say that she is going above and beyond the call of duty.

Isn’t three a wonderful age?

Our new chore system

It is 10:40am and my house is clean! Can you just hear the excitement in my typewritten voice? So far today, everyone has been dressed, combed, styled, beds made, rooms tidied, breakfast eaten, Bibles read, memory work studied, piano practiced, and had piano lessons completed. The kids’ bathroom has been cleaned and tidied, the second load of laundry has been started, the kitchen has been thoroughly cleaned, all floors have been vacuumed and mopped, the trash has been emptied, the dustbuster has been emptied, and the patio has been swept. Most of the children have been outside playing for nearly an hour already, except Polly, who came out about 20 minutes ago as soon as her piano lessons finished and her music teacher left. I’ve even been able to make a few phone calls, and had a delightful chat with a friend.

Normally, we do not accomplish nearly so much by 10:40am on a summer day, especially on a Monday. Why today? Well, that’s the fun part! As you may have noticed, I get rather excited by tools and systems that make our home run more efficiently. I’ve written a lot of blog posts on various ways that we make our days run more smoothly and how we organize our home, because I want to share the tips with others who are looking for solutions.

Now we have a new one!

A few weeks ago on vacation, I got to watch the Duggars’ television show for the first time. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard of the family. I first heard of them a few years ago in a magazine article passed along by my mom, back when they “only” had about 14 children. Since that time, I have read other interviews with the family, and I’ve visited their website. Ever since Princess came along, putting us over the edge to be considered a “big family,” people ask us every time we are out in public all together if we’ve ever seen their show. I have been interested in the family for a while, but being that we do not have cable television, I never had the opportunity to watch the show before.

Anyhow, I saw two episodes of “18 Kids and Counting” while on vacation. I must say, I love this family. I love how the dad leads with love. I love how the mom is so very kind and patient. I love the kids – how cute and sweet the little ones are, and how mature and responsible the older ones are. I love how the whole family lives their faith and clearly lives to bring glory to God. I love how they see children as a blessing and share this with the world. Instead of giving the commonly heard message, “Hey, we didn’t plan for this; this is what we got stuck with,” they are giving the message, “Yes! We wanted this! We are thankful every day for this! Each child is a blessing!” My feelings exactly. This family had it all together long before TLC came along and offered them a show, and it is clear that they are using their show as an opportunity to be a light to the world.

So I bought their book.

Stay with me here. I know I seem to be rambling, but I am getting somewhere. I promise.

I read the book in a single night. I was intriged by their whole story – from the first time Jim Bob and Michelle met, through their early marriage, through each birth of each child, through living behind a used car lot, through building their current large, beautiful home with their own hands. I was encouraged by their sharing their love for children and their love for God. And – I was fascinated by the orderliness of their home and their organizational systems. There were many ideas I’d like to implement in our own home at some point, but one step at a time. For now, I liked their children’s chore system.

Michelle recommended Teri Maxwell’s book, “Managers of Their Chores,” and she explained a bit of how it was done. I have already been a fan of Teri Maxwell’s other books, and immediately saw the benefits of the system as explained by Michelle Duggar.

So I bought that book too.

Yes, we already had a chore system, and a system to help the kids remember to do their morning and bedtime habits. But I liked this one better.

I spent last week reading the book, listing what chores the kids could be expected to do, calculating how long it would take to complete each chore, making one list of what I would like the children to do each day, and making another list of what I’d like them to do each week. I edited and played around, added some items, deleted some items. And finally, I made the children their new chore packs.

What is a chore pack, you ask?

It’s a little clipable vinyl pocket. It looks like this:

Each child gets one, and clips it to his or her clothing each morning. Inside the chore pack are cards that list each daily chore that the kids need to do, numbered and arranged in the order that they need to do them. When they finish one task, they put the card in the back of the chore pack behind the other cards. When they get back to the first card, they have finished their chore pack.

For little ones who can not read yet, there are chore cards with pictures instead of words.

I decided to give each of my children two chore packs. The “Morning 1″ pack are chores to be done before breakfast, and the “Morning 2″ are for after breakfast.

In addition to the daily chore packs, there are a few more responsibilities for each child. We have done most of these things for years, so the following are not new to us:

• We continue to use a chore chart to list weekly chores, one or two chores for each day of the week.
• The children each have two jurisdictions, areas of the home that they are responsible to keep tidied throughout the day. One upstairs jurisdiction, and one downstairs. Nothing is new there except the name. We used to call them “Tidy Spaces,” but the Duggars call them “Jurisdictions,” and I liked the sound of it. Plus, the kids feel a little more important being the owner of a “jurisdiction” rather than a “tidy space.”
• While the Daily Chore Packs are only for mornings, and only address one meal of the day, the children do need to help clean up the kitchen after each meal. Each child has an assigned kitchen duty. We’ve been doing this for years.
• Everyone also has a “Company’s Coming” task, so that before visitors arrive, we can get the house in reasonable order in about fifteen minutes, with no sweat.

Over the weekend, we had “chore training.” I did not actually teach them how to complete the chores, because they have already been well-taught in most of their chores. Chore-training was an exercise in how the new system works, and how to use the new cards. This was particularly helpful for the little ones.

Today was day one. If you scroll back up to paragraph 1, you will see how it worked out! Very efficient, and excellent at keeping them on task. The kids have a constant reminder, attached to their clothing, to help them stay focused on the tasks at hand. There is little “distraction” and “forgetting.” I was freed up from checking on the kids a hundred times, and I was able to accomplish a lot of household tasks as well. I think this new system is a keeper!

What about you? Do you have any thoughts, questions, or other ideas related managing chores in a large family?

You Might Have a Lot of Kids if, Part III

You might have a lot of kids if…

You buy your toothbrushes by the pound.

Just kidding. No one sells them by the pound. If they did, you’d buy them that way.

As it is, you do the next best thing. You go to the Dollar Store every couple months and buy out all of their toothbrushes. Well, maybe not all their toothbrushes. There are a few rules:

1. You only buy the big packs.
2. You only buy the ones clearly labelled “soft bristle.”
3. And of course, you only buy one of each type and color, because having a lot of kids also means that you don’t want any two children to ever have identical toothbrushes at the same time, as to avoid confusion.

In case you are counting, there are 36 toothbrushes in the picture. Those ought to last a while.

While we are on the topic of toothbrushes, let’s talk about Sharpie markers. Having lots of kids also means you might keep a Sharpie marker near the kids’ bathroom, so that you can write each child’s name on their toothbrush and label other miscellaneous, easily-misidentified items.

Want more? Check out 20 Ways to Know You Have a Lot of Kids,
or You Might Have a Lot of Kids, Part II

A Rough Week for Bubbles

Bubbles is typically not accident-prone. Except this week.

At a park play group last Tuesday, she got her first splinter. Not a little one, either. The culprit was nearly an inch long!

On Sunday, she rested her elbow on a still-hot stove.

Yesterday, she had her first bee sting, on her foot. She was wearing sandals. Apparently, the bee flew between the sandal and her foot while she was running. We’re fairly certain that it was a honeybee, because in addition to the bee-remains on her foot, the large prickly stinger remained as well (Ouch!) Our poor girl was in quite some pain for the rest of the day, and it even continued for a while today, making it hard for her to walk.

But that wasn’t all. I’m not sure quite how, but during the bee sting incident, her toenail fell off! I shudder every time I look at it. Amazingly, she had no idea that anything had happened to her toe at all, because she was so focused on the pain from the bee sting.

Then there were some minor incidents… a scrape on the arm and knee from falling on the patio, and a finger smashed in a door.

But my girl was very brave. Of all the above incidents, she cried only during the bee sting. Her eyes teared up and she “ooh”ed and “ouch”ed for the others, but she tried to be a big, brave girl. I’m so proud of her.

Here she is, proudly showing off her Band-Aid-Worthy injuries:

The SplinterNotice the upper arm. That’s one of the patio-fall bang-ups.

The BurnNotice the chicken-pox-like appearance on her other arm. That’s marker. Her own idea.

The Sting

The Toenail

The Best Birthday Gifts

I can’t remember when I’ve ever been so excited about a birthday present for the kids! For Polly and Gameboy’s birthday this year, we bought them a few special “together” gifts from the Vision Forum. Check out the first one, a bow and arrow set!

(FYI: For those of you whose blood pressure is rising with worry at the safety of our children, please know that the arrows are not sharp. The tips are more of the “Lawn Dart” variety than the traditional dart style.)

Polly takes a turn:

Now Gameboy:

And let’s just hold it right there a second before moving on. I’m going to zoom in a little bit at that wrist… There we go:

There you have it, their other best birthday gift ever: Jonathan Park communicator watches! These are fantastic! These are watches with built-in Walkie-Talkies. They have the option of using regular mode (press, talk, and release), the Voice Activation Mode (of which I’m not a fan) or Call Mode, in which they can ring the other watch carrier before starting a conversation. They work up to two miles, depending on how many large building structures are around. There are 22 channels to select from, and the reception is great. I am thinking these would be useful for the whole family. Um, okay, I admit it… I mainly want one for myself. Can you just picture it? The kids are upstairs playing, and I need them to come downstairs for whatever reason. Instead of going to the steps and calling “KIDS! COME DOWNSTAIRS!” in an attempt to be heard through the closed doors, I could press that handy little button and page them in a more dignified manner. I know what I’m putting on my birthday wish list!

But back to the archery match.

Bubbles takes a shot:

And finally, Fred gets his turn:

And check out their target! They are using their official “Kidsburgh Flag” that they made for their recently established Small Group Kids’ Club. In their archery games, whoever gets the arrow closest to the flag wins the round.

Wonderful toys, aren’t they? Have I ever mentioned that I adore every single thing in Vision Forum’s Boys’ Adventure Catalog? If not for those pesky financial limitations, and the space limitations of our house, I think I could buy just about everything in it! Like this baby, which I’ve had my eye on for a few years. Maybe some day!

Happy Birthday, Polly!

In honor of Polly’s eleventh birthday, our family would like to share 11 things we love about her, while sharing some pictures of how much she’s grown and changed in the short time since God blessed us with her.

First, from the kids:

1. She tells great stories (Gameboy)
2. She is a really good pianist (Bubbles)
3. She is quiet (Fred)
4. She likes Polly Pockets and Barbies (Princess)
5. She bounces me on her lap (George)
6. She is good at writing (Gameboy)
7. She plays dolls with me every day (Bubbles)
8. She is nice to me (Fred)
9. She talks nice to me (Princess)
10. She teaches me how to talk (George)
11. She is nice (Gameboy)

Now from me:

1. Her kind, nurturing attitude toward her younger siblings
2. Her desire to help me in all aspects of homemaking
3. Her amazing gift in creative writing
4. Hearing her play the piano
5. Her beautiful hair
6. Her knack for planning fun and creative ideas for her siblings and friends (talent shows, skits, Olympic nights, clubs, meetings, writing books…)
7. How she conscientiously gives her best effort in her school work
8. Her gentle nature
9. How I’ve never heard a harsh or unkind word escape her lips
10. How she always tries to do the right thing
11. How she loves Jesus

And finally, from Daddy:

1. She has a creative nature – whether musical, written or told, she comes up with beautiful music or tall tales.
2. She has a comedic creative nature….The stories have a humorous twist that makes them interesting and fun!
3. Kindness and gentleness to all her brothers and sisters.
4. She is a great helper, always supporting her Mother with habits, to dos, etc.
5. Her responsible nature – taking great care to do all that she has been assigned, completely, immediately and joyfully!
6. How she can still fit in with the little girls but demonstrate how she is growing into a young woman. Albeit too fast for me….
7. Her commitment to working hard to complete her schoolwork to the best of her ability. Great Job!
8. Being a good friend to her sister Bubbles and Princess.  She understands that she has an opportunity to influence and mentor each day.
9. Her deep desire to learn Spanish and try to use it anytime in a Mexican restaurant!
10. Her commitment to memorizing scripture!
11. Her desire to give to learn and study the Word daily.

Happy Birthday, Polly! We love you!

Happy Birthday, Gameboy!

Polly isn’t the only birthday kid in the family! Gameboy turned nine yesterday! It seems like such a short time since he looked like this:

From the kids:

1. He always helps me with my computer problems (Polly)
2. He plays “balloon & knex tennis” with me (Bubbles)
3. He is a good brother (Fred)
4. He likes Army guys and the Army (Princess)
5. He pushes me in the stroller (George)
6. He loves to read, just like me (Polly)
7. He helps me build things outside, like a teepee out of sticks (Bubbles)
8. He loves me (Fred)
9. He talks nice to me (Princess)

From me:

1. How kind he is to all of his sisters and brothers
2. His patient, kind nature
3. His desire to help me with big jobs – like lifting heavy items, unloading a van full of groceries, and squishing spiders
4. His dark brown eyes
5. Listening to him play the piano
6. He’s tough. I’ve never seen him cry over pain. Instead, he shakes off injuries with a brave “It wasn’t so bad…”
7. His marvelous ability with numbers
8. His respectful and honoring attitude
9. How he looks up to his dad

From Dad:

1. His helpful nature whenever called upon to assist with Man’s work!
2. How he likes to lose at Wii Baseball to make his dad feel better about himself
3. His tough nature when getting hurt, he’s all boy.
4. Mr. statistics and numbers, we have our own stats buff.
5. His love for all things technical.  An engineer in training.
6. Additionally, he loves to build, modify and make things better.  Very helpful for his sisters and his Mother!
7. His love for his brothers and sisters.
8. He has a genuine respect for authority and honors his parents.
9. He has a genuine love for the things of God and studies his Word daily.

Happy Birthday, Gameboy! We love you!

Princess and her Siblings

Doesn’t Princess suit her nickname today? When I started fixing her hair this morning, I planned on plain ol’ pigtails. As we went along, she asked if I could make her “like a princess,” so of course I was happy to oblige. Even Gameboy noticed! He was the first one to comment, “Mom, Princess looks so cute!”

From the back:

While I was fixing her hair this morning, we had a conversation. I was wearing a non-maternity, button-down shirt, unbuttoned, with a long tee shirt underneath. Princess asked, “Mommy, why do you wear two shirts?”

“I can’t button this shirt anymore,” I replied, “I have to wear another shirt under it.”

“Because you got my new baby brother in there, right, Mommy?”

Aren’t children awesome? Sometimes I think of how much we’d have missed if we’d stopped after the first two. Even simple little conversations like the above that brighten each day. Each child is a gift from God, and I’m so very thankful for every one of them!

Finding Time

It’s been a while since I’ve written an introspective type of post. It isn’t that I never think about deeper things or talk about them; it’s just that posts of that nature take a lot more time and thought. I can pop out a cute story, share some pictures, give an organizational tip, or tell an update about our family life in five or ten minutes. Sharing thoughts of a deeper nature require me to organize my thoughts, and I might take an entire day of stopping by my computer to add a paragraph, re-word, and delete whole sections before I’m ready to publish it. Life isn’t slowing down around me, and pregnancy has reduced my energy level and motivation to expend much effort on writing about what’s deeper in my mind.

But a thoughtful post is long overdue, so I’d like to share one now.

A few weeks ago at our church, we started a new series by Andy Stanley, called Take It to the Limit. The subject of the series is “margin” – the “extra” in our lives. In regards to time, margin is unscheduled downtime. Most people don’t have enough of it, and this is  a critical mistake. Relationships are built in the margin of our time. If we do not have enough margin to take ten minutes on the phone to talk to a friend, to visit someone who is lonely, to help someone in need, what kind of friend would we be? As a mother, if I fill up every moment of every day with activities and work, so that I don’t have time to pick up a child who wants my attention, to kiss boo-boos, to read a story, or to have a conversation about an unexpected issue in my childrens’ lives, then what kind of mother would I be? As a Christian, if I don’t take time daily to pray and read the Word, how will I ever grow in my walk with the Lord?

We need margin.

So why do we cram as much into our days as possible? Often, it’s because of fear. Fear that if we don’t get involved in this activity or that one, then we’ll miss out on something great. Fear that if we don’t do something, we might get behind (in work, in our home, etc.) Fear that if we don’t do “enough,” then our lives won’t matter. The ironic thing is that by removing margin, we enjoy none of the “great” things we do, we get behind in the truly important things, and the fruit of our lives ends up having very little eternal value.

Some of the scheduling can’t, and shouldn’t, be avoided. Everyone has responsibilities that ought to be done to the best of their abilities. For me, it’s helping my husband meet his goals, caring for my home and family, homeschooling my kids, and giving to other areas of ministry. For Iron Man, it’s working hard at his job to financially support our family, leading our family in spiritual matters, serving as an elder in the church, and serving in other areas of ministry. For our children, it’s obeying whatever responsibilities Iron Man and I give them (chores, etc.), learning to take care of themselves (brushing their teeth, etc.) completing their schoolwork, and fulfilling commitments for any activities they are involved in.

We should not neglect our responsibilities, but we also should not allow the urgent areas of our lives (the visible things, the tasks with deadlines, etc.) to take priority over the important things (building relationships with God, our family, and our friends.)

So how do we avoid over-committing, over-scheduling, over-doing? The Bible has something to say about that:

Man’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he can not exceed. Job 14:5

So teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Ephesians 5:15-16

Instead of trying to control our own schedules, we would do better to give our schedules to the Lord, and let Him decide how we spend our time. Time never stops. As each second passes, it is gone forever, never to return. We can’t save it, and we have no idea how many seconds, days and months we have left. Do we really believe that we alone are the best judges of how our limited amount of time should be spent? I know I am not so wise; how about you?

In our family, we never give an immediate “yes” when we are asked to take on something new. We prayerfully consider each opportunity for each family member- whether an opportunity to participate in something fun, something educational, or a new area of ministry. There are many good things out there that we could be doing.  The question is not “Is this a good thing to do?” but rather, “Is this something that the Lord wants us to do?”

As a practical example, as homeschoolers, we have opportunities to involve our children in activities galore. We prayerfully decided long ago that in our family, we will not give a large time commitment to any regularly scheduled activity unless there is a good reason to do so. “Why not,” “Just because,” “So-and-so is going to do it,” and “It could be fun” are not good reasons in our mind. There must be some deeper purpose, skill, or benefit to be gained in order for us to consider a commitment like that. The socialization and fun can happen in the context of these more meaningful activities. If an activity doesn’t fit that criteria, then it’s easy to toss out that option. If it does fit the criteria, then we pray and ask the Lord, “Do we have the time to do this? Do we need to cease our involvement in something else in order to do this? Do YOU want us to do this?” He has made our answers very clear, allowing us to say “yes” without being overwhelmed, or “no” without guilt.

So in that respect, I think we’re doing okay. But I have felt conviction in another area… that of how I spend my time with the Lord. I confess, my Bible-reading times have been rather unfocused and unplanned as of late. I pray often, but sporadically. Sometimes I skim Bible passages in the middle of the day when the thought occurs to me. Sometimes I go an entire day before I realize that I haven’t spent even five minutes in the Word, and then I cram it in – as if a chore to complete- before I drift off to sleep. If I gave such unfocused attention to my relationship with my husband or children, the relationships would suffer. So I know I must – not should, but must - get back on track with making my time with the Lord a focused, scheduled, high-priority part of  each day.

I do not dare think that I don’t have time for Him. I don’t have time to not make time for Him! I need Him and am completely helpless and ineffective in all things without Him.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

In reflecting on this verse, I have decided that I need to get back into a good habit that I, sadly, have broken. I need to give Him my mornings, the first-fruits of each day. An extra half hour of sleep may be tempting in the morning, but God can provide infinitely more strength to my tired body than a little half hour of sleep can. As one gentleman in our class yesterday said, “I might think I don’t have a half hour to spend. But if my employer required me to come to work a half an hour earlier each day, I’d set my alarm clock a half hour earlier and make sure I was there. If I can do it for my boss, I have no excuse not to do it for God.” Very powerful, and very convicting.

With that in mind, I have decided to get back into a routine that used to work beautifully. I keep a Bible and prayer journal right next to my bed. Each morning, I start with prayer. In my prayer journal, I keep a list of needs of friends, or people that I may not even know personally, and I pray for them. I give thanks for the many blessings that God has given, and answered prayers. I ask for guidance and direction in areas of my own life, and I pray for my family. I read a few chapters in the Bible. Then, I write my notes: I jot down a verse, or a few verses, that stood out to me that day. Most days, I will write a few thoughts or insights that the verses or passage brought to my mind. Sometimes I’ll make note of a question I have, so that I can pray about it, look deeper into it, or ask Iron Man his thoughts on the question.

The reason for giving the Lord my mornings is obedience, and my desire to please Him and grow in my relationship with Him. While personal gain is not the reason for doing this, I have found that the Lord does bless me in a very tangible way. I am more peaceful, more joyful, more effective, and accomplish so much more. I begin to see the fruits of the Spirit growing in my life. I hope that you will join me in deciding to put God first, not only in our minds and hearts, but in each day.