Titus 2:3-5 – Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

I belong to a wonderful MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. Some of you may have heard of MOPS,  and some of you may belong to such a group. You might think you have the best MOPS mentor ever, but I’m sorry to tell that you that you don’t. We have her at ours! Her name is Nancy. She is a mother to grown children, a grandmother, a wise and caring woman, and an inspiration to all who know her. Nancy is truly a Titus 2 woman.

At every MOPS meeting, Nancy gives a talk about parenting, marriage, identity, and many other areas that are pertinent to lives of moms. I always come away amazed at her insights. A few months ago, I asked Nancy if she would mind if I shared some of the content of her talks on my blog, and she graciously agreed. About once a week, I hope to share bite-sized snippets of Nancy’s talks, in her own words, so that you can all benefit from her wisdom as well. Following is the first segment of Nancy’s talk on “Stress Removal.”

Stress Removal – by Nancy

Merely encountering the word “stress” should not signify a positive or a negative feeling, though it probably does. We need to remember that the word “stress” describes an entirely normal psychophysiological process, without which we would die.

There are three personal considerations when dealing with stress:

1. Mismanaged time triggers stress.

Time is valuable. Don’t misuse it! Time is one of the most precious earthly commodities given to us by the Lord. With the passing of each day, 86,400 seconds disappear, never to be recaptured. One of the mysteries about time is that you can’t save it. It is gone, never to return. It is usable only as it is received, and once used, it is lost forever. We have only one time to live life.

Being a good steward of this mysterious gift of time is what God requires. The Psalmist makes two important points concerning time in Psalm 90. The first point concerns the brevity of time… “A thousand years are but as yesterday to you. They are like a single hour!” – Psalm 90:4-5. The second point concerns our responsibility to manage our time well… “Teach us to number our days and recognize how few they are; help us to spend them as we should.” – Psalm 90:12.

Ephesians 5:15-17  says, “So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.”This verse commands us to be wise about the way we use our time. God expects us to live purposeful, worthy, accurate lives; being wise and making the most of our time. The question is: Will we be found trustworthy in the management of the time He gives us? How do we use the hours, minutes, seconds He gives to each of us? They are not redeemable – once gone, they are gone! This has a lot to do with our stress level.

2. Stress is normal. Expect it, but don’t abuse it.

The Random House Dictionary gives the following definitions:

Stress: 1) The physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension. 2) To put pressure or strain on someone due to a situation or circumstance.

Distress: 1) Acute physical or mental suffering; a state of extreme necessity. 2) Anything that causes pain, anxiety, trouble, sorrow or affliction.

The normalcy of stress deteriorates into distress when one abuses it.

Dr. Richard Swanson, author of Margin, says stress is a by-product of our age. Stress has become an inevitable part of today’s life for four out of five people. According to the American Institute of Stress, stress-related illnesses cost the American economy $150 billion annually. Canadian, Hans Selye, considered to be the “father” of stress research, defines stress as the non-specific response of the body to any demand made upon it. This definition is contrary to the popular thinking thinking that defines stress as an unpleasant circumstance, such as tax time or a screaming baby.

“Any demand” could involve the following:

  • our children
  • bringing a new baby home
  • colic
  • illness
  • teething
  • planning a marriage
  • when the money is tight
  • dealing with parents or inlaws
  • confrontation of any kind (mate, child, parent, friend)
  • certain personalities: when I taught high school, I would develop migraine headaches before certain classes walked through my door
  • job promotion
  • a new kid in the housing plan
  • being responsible for leading a group or ministry
  • a sense of danger
  • a sense of impropriety
  • doing something new for the first time

This is what I want you to get: Stress is not the circumstance, but rather it is our response to the situation. It is not “out there” that causes the stress, but rather, inside us.

In Psalm 139:14, the psalmist says, “You made all the inner parts of my body, and knit them together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about.”

We have no idea how wonderfully complex and amazing God has made each one of us. Our bodies were made to constantly adapt to our environment. This adaptation is a marvelous process, more intricate than we can imagine. It involves the brain and nervous system, the heart and circulatory system, the liver and the spleen, the adrenal glands and immune system, and many other organs as well. Holding all of this together is an incredibly sophisticated communications network functioning continuously at a  low level. It is on a perpetual stand-by alert, monitoring for sudden changes in the environment, based upon what you’re being confronted with at any moment. At times of increased need, the system surges, preparing us for any necessary response that we need to make. It is quite amazing!

3. Stress can quickly escalate to distress

Our stress system, a part of our physical makeup is important, is in fact vital to our overall well-being. When it is habitually overactive - not heeded, relieved or corrected – damage can result. While stress itself need not be destructive, the overstimulation of an uncontrolled stress response may be both painful and destructive. Some examples are on-going financial problems or marriage problems, recurring tension, or a stress-related job.

The bottom line: Stress is the name given to the normal, internal physiological mechanism that adapts us to change. Distress is the negative, destructive aspect of this normal mechanism. It’s when we don’t pay attention to what our body is telling us: that something is wrong. When we don’t pay attention and make changes, then we’re headed for distress.

So what does all this mean? It means, Mom, that when your busy life causes you to feel stressed, your physiological mechanism is working correctly. In every season of life, you will have stressors that kick in whenever change occurs. Deteriorating into distress (the negative, destructive aspect of this mechanism) occurs when we abuse the stressors.

Let me illustrate with a personal observation. When I fail to manage or balance my priorities, properly organize my time, take on too much (and I know what I’m doing because my stressors are screaming at me), sooner or later I’m going to get into trouble. My normal stressors are thrown out of balance because I know that I’m out of line. Emotionally, I’m in deep “doo-doo.” Continuing without correcting the sitiuation will not only weigh me down until I am in distress, but will also bring distress to those dearest to me.