October 14, 2009
Instead of asking your husband to make a quick stop at the grocery store on his way home from work, you ask him to make a quick stop at SAMS Club for 4 gallons of milk, 4 loaves of bread, and a few other assorted “little” things… and he agrees that it’s a little trip.
Related Posts:
June 25, 2009
You might have a lot of kids if…
You buy your toothbrushes by the pound.
Just kidding. No one sells them by the pound. If they did, you’d buy them that way.
As it is, you do the next best thing. You go to the Dollar Store every couple months and buy out all of their toothbrushes. Well, maybe not all their toothbrushes. There are a few rules:
In case you are counting, there are 36 toothbrushes in the picture. Those ought to last a while.
While we are on the topic of toothbrushes, let’s talk about Sharpie markers. Having lots of kids also means you might keep a Sharpie marker near the kids’ bathroom, so that you can write each child’s name on their toothbrush and label other miscellaneous, easily-misidentified items.
Want more? Check out 20 Ways to Know You Have a Lot of Kids,
or You Might Have a Lot of Kids, Part II
April 8, 2009
In our “a boy for me and a girl for you, then praise the Lord, we’re finally through” culture (to quote Voddie Baucham), our family kind of sticks out in a crowd! From curious strangers at the grocery store to our closest family members, we get a lot of questions and comments on a regular basis. Many of the questions and comments are comical in nature, and a rare few are downright rude. But most people are very supportive and encouraging, and we do get some serious questions from those who are genuinely interested in knowing the answers. I thought I would take a crack at some of the questions that we most frequently hear, both the silly and the serious.
Are you nuts? No.
Don’t you know what causes that? Yes.
Was this planned? Since before the Earth was formed? Yes. In our own minds from the beginning of marriage? No. Each individual child around the time of their conception? Yes.
Why?? There are so many answers to this, and I can’t begin to explain the depth of the many reasons why. But here are a few of the answers… We have a tremendous heart for children. We have felt convicted that God desired us to have each and every one of these children. We believe children are a blessing and not a burden. They are a joy and a balm to our hearts. We consider it an honor to raise up a lot of children in our faith to bring glory to God. How’s that for starters?
I know a woman who grew up in a large family, and she hated it. She swore she would never have children. When I meet someone who grew up in a large family, they always let me know! They never fail to tell me their feelings about it. Occasionally one will express that they hated it, but by and large, most will tell me how much they loved it and how glad they are to have had lots of siblings. Sometimes a teary-eyed older person will tell me that now that their parents have passed on, they are so glad to have those sisters and brothers with whom they shared their childhood. Some will tell me that now some of their siblings have passed on, and how dearly they miss them.
So what makes the difference between those who loved it and those who hated it? I can’t be certain, but I have a theory that it often has something to do with their parents’ feelings about their large brood. When parents believe their children to be a burden and hardship, and are bitter about being stuck with their “lot in life,” I think this bitterness rubs off on the children, who grow up with a mindset that having a large family is a terrible thing to be avoided. But, when parents feel that raising a large family is a privilege, blessing, and honor, I suspect that the children grow up feeling that it’s pretty special to be part of such a family.
I can only speak for my crew, and they think it’s awesome to be part of a large family.
Are you the most patient woman in the world? Absolutely not. Having a lot of children has been a magnifying glass to my impatience, and has driven me to my knees in prayer more times than I can count. I can say with certainty that the Lord has used my “mommy of many” role to refine me in patience and many other ways.
Are you the most organized woman in the world? Ha ha ha!!!! Hold on while I wipe the tea off my face that I just spit out… Ahem. To answer this, no, I am not the most organized person in the world. By sheer necessity, I’ve (once again) been driven to my knees to seek wisdom in how to manage things. I’ve read books, I’ve applied, I’ve adapted, and I’ve carefully planned routines and systems in the home to help me live in an organized way. With the Lord’s help, I’ve learned to be organized enough to manage a house full of children. Which, by the way, is partially why I started this blog!
What about “Me Time?” Hmmm… How do I answer this? Let me preface by stating that I do believe rest is essential, and every mother needs some amount of quiet, calm, peaceful time to regroup. However, I think that “me time,” in the way that most people think of it, is overrated. I’ve searched the scriptures, and there just isn’t anything in there that would justify tremendous amounts of “Me Time.” Rest? Yes. Enjoyment of creation? Yes? But there’s a whole lot more in there about hard work, dying to self, and putting needs of others before yourself.
That said, I must confess that I love the hours in the afternoon when my youngest ones are napping and the house is so very quiet. I love the early morning hours when the sun isn’t quite up, and the house is quiet. I love the time when the little ones are all put to bed, and the house is quiet. I love when I can get an uninterrupted shower. BUT! I also love: the morning time when we are bustling through the house with breakfast and chores… cuddling on the couch reading stories… the hours of homeschooling… the sound of the children playing together… the time of day when the little ones wake up from their naps… chatting with my kids while preparing dinner… playing “Hide and Seek” or “Apples to Apples” with them… making a jumbo, messy, bowl of popcorn and letting them dive in to it on movie night… and just talking to my kids.
What is “Me Time?” Is it simply doing things we love to do? My days are full of those, children included! And I even find time to do things by myself, such as writing blog posts like this or reading books. Is “Me Time” defined as rest? I manage to get that every day as well. Is “Me Time” getting out of the house alone? When I need to buy clothing for myself, I usually do so alone. I sometimes go to my doctor’s appointments alone. Occasionally I even get out to the grocery store alone, although most days I have all six kids in tow. Quite frankly, it makes very little difference to me. With a little training, kids can make it through the grocery store without making you crazy, and they can actually be taught to be helpful!
How do you afford all those kids? You’ve been reading those “Costs to raise a child to age 18″ articles again, haven’t you? Throw those away! It doesn’t have to be that way, truly. It can be that way, if you buy a bigger house with the birth of each child, buy all new clothing for each child, utilize a lot of childcare, and make dining out the “rule” rather than the “exception.” But it does not have to be that way. I happen to think that not every child (or even every two children) “needs” their own room. While I like my kids to dress in nice, up-to-date clothing, I pass a lot of clothes down from child to child, filling in gaps as much as possible with consignment store finds. We’ve had to upgrade to larger vehicles exactly two times, but I think our 12-passenger van will suffice for a long time! I cook from scratch a lot, and have learned to enjoy it. I keep easy meals on hand for days that I’m tired. Not to say that we never dine out, but our culinary experiences have gravitated more toward the “kids eat free on Tuesdays” establishments, and dining out is the exception, not the rule. We’ve learned the difference between “needs” and “wants.” Giving and needs are taken care of first, and wants are considered carefully.
But what about college? I could do a pretty big blog post dedicated to this question alone, but I’ll try to keep it simple, while being transparent.
For more on this, you might want to read a great book called College Without Compromise.
Whoah – Did you say you pay double your mortgage payments??? How in the world do you do that? Nearly double, but not quite. Anyhow, if you have ever visited us and wondered such things as, “Why don’t they move into a bigger house? Why don’t they add on to the back of their house? Why do they drive their vehicles until they die? Why don’t they just replace those kitchen countertops? Why don’t they finish that basement already?” Well, now you have your answer. One can’t double their mortgage payments when they have the burden of car payments, home equity loans, and other consumer debt. With God’s grace, principles learned by Dave Ramsey, and a fantastic budgeting system (YNAB) we have managed to be debt-free with the exception of the mortgage. We’re working to fix that situation now! For more on this, you can read this blog post detailing how we manage our finances.
But just think! If you didn’t have kids, you could get a bigger house and drive newer cars… It’s a tradeoff, I know. But I happen to believe that we are getting the better end of the bargain!!!! I’d take children over square footage any day. If your goal is to accumulate as much stuff as possible before you die, then we would appear to be very foolish indeed. But that’s not our goal. As Bubbles so beautifully stated the other day, we want something that we can take to Heaven with us. That would be… children.
Don’t you worry that you won’t be able to do anything with your life after your kids grow up and leave the nest? No, I don’t worry about that at all. I’m capable of being passionate about many things. At this stage in my life, being a mom is “what I do,” and as such, I expect to pour my heart into it. At the same time, I’ve managed to be involved in a number of different ministries, many of which I can do with my children. I’ve no doubt that the Lord will continue to place me in the path of new and exciting opportunities that He plans for me, even after my children are grown.
Do you think everybody should have a lot of kids? No. To be honest, I really don’t spend time thinking about decisions that other people make. It is not my business, and I’m not here to pass judgment on anyone else. My job is to live as the Lord calls me. And in my case, I am called to be a mom of lots of kids, a role which I happen to love!
Are you going to have any more children? That’s a question that I’m not quite ready to answer yet! But I can tell you this. In all the many conversations that I have had on the topic of family size, not a single person has ever told me that they wish they had fewer children. I’m sure there are people out there who feel that way, but I’ve never come across them. However, many, many people, whose child-bearing years have passed, have looked me deeply in the eye and said with regret, “I wish I’d had more.”‘
February 17, 2009
A large family means you typically store a large amount of food. SAMS Club is no longer a place where you stock up on the staples for a few months, but the place where you go for your regular grocery shopping. At the same time, those small baking pans and sauce pans get relocated to the back of the cupboards, while larger cooking appliances take over your countertops and cabinets, making it necessary to squeeze much use out of every square inch. And, of course, when your space is tightly packed, you have to be careful to organize it in such way that you can put your stuff away and find it again easily.
So, for our “Help for Growing Families” contribution today, I’m sharing a glimpse of the assorted corners of our kitchen, for any growing families out there who can use some ideas. I warn you that it doesn’t look like a magazine, but it works!
The Spice Cabinet: While I’d love to have a large lazy susan in this corner cabinet, it hasn’t happened yet. I do, however, have two small, inexpensive turn-tables that fit nicely side-by-side in the cabinet. The spices are semi-alphabetized, meaning that they are grouped according to “A through C” “D through F” and so on. Allspice is not necessarily to the left of celery salt, but any spice can be found reasonably fast. Bulk sized containers are kept on the upper shelf in little baskets which can easily be pulled out to find what we’re looking for.
The Pantry: I took this picture before our SAMS Club outing, when there was actually a bit of room to breathe in here. No ABC order here, as that would be too difficult to maintain. Those little stickers along the edge of the shelves are mostly labelled with the type of container that goes on each shelf: Boxes, Cans, Bottles, Jars. The top shelf has all of our cleaning supplies safely out of the way of little hands. The middle shelf is for all the items we go for often: Cereal, Oatmeal, Vitamins, Nuts, Raisins, etc. The basket off to the right is for snacks. Next shelf down: One of the paper bags contains potatoes, and the other containes onions and garlic. On the right side is a big basket of pasta. We always keep disposable dinnerware onhand because we host dinner for our small group every other week and tear through those items at lightning speed. The kids can easily help me put things away, and if they don’t put them in the right place, it’s not too much of a hassle for me to move it around.
If you have a growing family, you’ve probably become acquainted with this big guy: the 18-Quart Roaster
But don’t get rid of that “little” 5-quart slow cooker just yet. With your large family, you can still use it to make a gallon of yogurt at a time.
We also are way past the “cute little fruit bowl on the table” stage. What we need is a bushel basket!
Our glassware cabinet is nearly full, and mugs used to be banished to the top shelf. This just didn’t “do” any longer, because we drink tea at least a few times a day, and that top shelf is hard to reach. We now keep tea mugs on a little coated-wire shelf on the counter. And while we’re looking at this picture, here’s another thing. If you happen to have any (ahem) “injuries” on your countertop due to… oh, I dunno, dripping metal from a pan that you accidentally started *melting* when you forgot to turn off a stove burner… say, a week after you moved into your home… a strategically placed cutting board ought to cover it nicely. It can also protect the counter from any future pan-meltings…
A growing family means a busy mama. Busy mamas are usually tuckered out by 4PM and are in no mood to cook dinner. So, our refrigerator often contains a ready-for-the-oven pan of something that I prepared at lunchtime, like this orange roughy topped with brushed butter and squeezed lemon, sprinkled with salt and pepper… yum!
And while we’re looking at the fridge, take a look at that bottom basket. A busy mama is also likely to forget to defrost meat the night before it is needed, so I like to put a couple frozen containers of meat in the bottom of the fridge on Sunday night. It usually takes a day or two to thaw, and then chicken will be good for 1-2 days afterward, beef 2-3 days. That will get us through Thursday. Fish needs to be cooked the same day that it is thawed, so that’s a popular dish on Mondays.
A growing family also means you’re likely to have some little ones in the house who like to hang out with you in the kitchen. Aside from the ever-popular pots, pans, and spoons to bang on them, here are some other things we keep on-hand for little hands to do. We keep one of our low cupboards stocked with a few puzzles, some paper dolls, a box of small blocks, and some other little toys you can see here.
Also if you have little ones, you might consider purchasing Leap Frog Fridge Phonics
Finally, this isn’t specific to growing families, but I just think it’s cute. You know those beautiful glass olive oil containers? They work especially well for dishsoap! Just be sure not to use yellow soap. It looks an awful lot like olive oil….
January 13, 2009
Your “fruit bowl” is a more accurately a “bushel basket.”
Want more? Check out this list of 20 ways to know you have a lot of kids.
January 9, 2009
You may remember from my post on A Typical Homeschool Day that my older children take turns babysitting while I tutor another sibling one-on-one. I thought it might be helpful to delve into the details of how this looks.
Our three ”babysitters” are only 10, 8, and 7 years old, so they are not old enough to stay home alone, take the little ones out alone, or even take them in a different room for very long. Likewise, the “little ones” are only 4, 3 and 1 year old, so I am not comfortable having them out of my scope of vision for very long. I believe the younger ones need to be near me most of the time, where I can have a direct influence over their behavior and character. Therefore, I don’t use the term “babysitter” in the traditional sense.
With those things in mind, here is how I structure my children’s babysitting time:
By structuring babysitting times in this way, I can give my focused attention to my one-on-one teaching sessions while still keeping an eye on the little ones. My older children can gain experience in caring for young children while still being under my watchful eye, and without too much pressure. The children gain some good, quality, “bonding’ time with one another. And of course, my younger ones are almost always near me, right where they need to be.
Want more? Check out A Typical Homeschool Day.
December 9, 2008
My Help for Growing Families tip this week is a simple one. When you need to go anywhere with your family, leave the house 15 minutes before you think you need to. I say this, not with my finger pointing at you, but with my hand smacking my own forehead. I am reminding myself of this little rule every bit as much as I’m sharing it with you.
The worst that can happen by leaving 15 minutes early is that you will arrive 15 minutes early. More likely, however, you will arrive right on time. Fifteen minutes allows for the probability that one or more of the following will happen:
Every one of these has happened to us. Several have happened many times. Two of them happened today, right before we went to our MOPS Christmas brunch. I’ll bet you can guess one of the incidents!
So, next time you need to be somewhere, leave 15 minutes earlier than usual. If you happen to be meeting me there, give me a call and remind me to do the same!
Want more? Check out How Do You Eat an Elephant? or see the list of all my Home Management Posts.
December 2, 2008
For this week’s contribution to Help For Growing Families, I’d like to share our “Kid of the Day” system.
For each day of the week, one child gets to be Kid of the Day (henceforth referred to in this post as “KOTD”). Kids get to take part in the KOTD system as soon as they are potty trained. Before that time, they really don’t care. Once they get to an age when they desire to be a KOTD, this system gives them an extra incentive to potty train.
KOTD is my right-hand kid for that day. If I go out shopping when Iron Man gets home, KOTD has first dibs on being my shopping buddy. If we watch a video, KOTD gets to choose the movie. If there is any disagreement among the children about anything at all (such as the snack they will have, the game they will play, the book I will read aloud, or the skit they will perform) then KOTD makes the final call.
With these privileges comes extra responsibility. At lunch time, KOTD always prays aloud for us. If I need someone to bring me my purse, get a diaper for the baby, put the mail in the mailbox, or any other little errand, the duty goes to KOTD. That is, as long as they are old enough for the task at hand. Obviously, I’m not going to let the four year old check the mail!
This system works well for us because I can ensure that I’m being decently fair with the kids. Each child gets to make decisions some of the time, and no one gets their way all of the time. This also makes it easy to avoid the trap of constantly going to one child (stereotypically the oldest) whenever something needs done.
Want more? Check out The No Yelling Zone or see the list of all my Parenting Posts.
November 25, 2008
Okay, maybe not 101 uses. More like 3 or 4, actually. “101″ just sounds better…
But the point of this blog post is that part of a growing family means learning how to work with the space you have. In order to accomodate more beds, more clothes, more toys, more books, more food, and all the other “mores” that come with more children, a growing family needs to re-evaluate their use of space with each new person. In the case of Iron Man and me, we are taking the same house that we purchased when we had three children ages three and under, and using the same space to accomodate six children ages ten and under. Same square footage; vastly different use of it!
Sometimes this requires thinking outside the box. As the title of this post implies, one of the tools we used to maximize our use of space is the over-the-door shoe holder. Here are a few ways that we use them.
Hats, Scarves, and Gloves
I am not joking when I tell you that hats and mittens were a source of much irritation for several years. I tried several solutions over the years, but putting a shoe holder inside our coat closet five years ago was the first one that I was ever excited about. Yes, I actually do get excited about these things. It’s a sickness, I know.
Each family member gets two slots to put their things in, and I label the slots with a colored dot with the first initial of each person. Girls get pink dots and boys get green dots, except for Princess and Cutie. I haven’t yet gotten around to sticking dots on their mitten slot.
During the warmer months, I pack all of the winter accessories away in a Rubbermaid bin, and I put the kids’ bathing suits and sunglasses in the slots.
Hair things
Our girls have a lot of hair accessories. We have started making our own bows, and now have a collection of ribbon as well. I put a shoe holder inside a closet in the kids’ bathroom to hold all their hair things. I organize the accessories by item and color, put them in plastic baggies, then drop the baggies into the shoe slots. As you see, we still have plenty of space for more stuff in these shoe holders!
But shoe holders are not just good for little girls. After seeing how well it worked out for our girls, I put one on the back of my own bathroom door. I keep makeup, hair things, washcloths, fingernail clippers, and basically all that “little” stuff that most people would keep in a drawer.
Socks, Belts, and Underthings
Our three girls share a bedroom, as do our three boys. The girls have ample closet space, but only one dresser. The reason three girls can make do with one dresser is that they use a shoe holder for items that most people keep in dresser drawers: socks, tights, underthings, belts, etc.
What little things in your house need a home, need organized, or need to be stored more visibly? Paints, brushes, and crafts? Pens and pencils? Game pieces? Polly Pockets and little green Army figures? Playdough? Find a nearby door and hang up a shoe holder. And please, drop me a comment to let me know what you are using your shoe holders for. I’m always looking for new ideas!
Want more? Check out Decluttering or see the list of all my Home Organization Posts.
November 4, 2008
Ship Full O’ Pirates is collecting (and linking to) tips for growing families. If you are a mom in need of ideas to make life easier on your family, check it out! If you have a great idea, link up here and share your tip with the world. I shared our laundry system.
Great idea, Mother Hen!
 | Michelle on Non-Toxic, Homemade Dishwasher… |
 | Rick Williams on Non-Toxic, Homemade Dishwasher… |
 | Leslie on A Big Bath for a Little B… |
 | Katie on Pictures, pictures, pictu… |
| Katie on The votes are in! |
Michelle
Gameboy
Polly
Iron Man